MY BRAIN IS GLOBALLY
WARMING
by Dustin Hawkins - May 25, 2004
Global Warming is all the rage. It is such a rage
that I spent dozens of hours reading all I could on the matter only to find
that no one really knows anything. In fact, if I combined all the hot air
coming out from both sides and injected it into
For what it is worth, The Day After Tomorrow may
be a fairly entertaining film. But for what it may further be worth, its
content should be taken about as seriously as a Michael Moore
"documentary." If by "documentary" you mean "staged".
The source for the movie comes from a book written
by Whitley Strieber, most popularly acclaimed by the
aliens-abducted-my-grandmother crowd. Strieber's previous
"non-fiction" (if by non-fiction you mean fiction) books range from
his first contact with aliens, to his on-going contact with aliens and their
future take-over of earth, to more on-going contact with aliens. Apparently
being abducted by aliens a first time is only good for one best-seller.
He also co-wrote a book about Global Warming with
Art Bell, the on-again, off again late-night radio show host whose show topics
almost always include... being abducted by aliens! Fittingly, the director of
Day After, Roland Emmerich, is also the director of
Independence Day ... a movie about, yes, alien
invasion. Luckily, their credibility gap in science is reduced by the
unwavering support of long-time scientist Al Gore, who lost the 2000 election
possibly because thousands of his supporters were abducted that week.
Aside from this, what has been depicted in the
movie trailers alone is possible only when you take reality out of the
equation. In USA Today regarding the probability of any such resulting
disasters happening, Patrick Michaels writes that "the stratosphere will
become the troposphere when all three laws of thermodynamics are repealed.
Hailstones can't reach bowling-ball size because their growth is limited by
gravity. Hurricanes can't hit
This movie should be a big blow to the credibility
of global warmists, assuming the global warmists continue to support the film (some have, some have
not). But then, a lot of people will be waiting for Ice Cubes the size of
watermelons to crash through their roofs. Might as well wait
for Will Smith to save you from E.T.
But back to global warming. Upon reading just about everything, I found out that the
earth is cooling, or that it is warming, or that it is cooling because it is
warming. Also, that global warming will cause such
enormous heats that all the ice in the world will melt and all land will be
underwater. Or that all land would be covered by Ice. No one has really decided
yet. This works out well for the theorists because both the blistering cold
days and the scorching hot days can be blamed on the same thing. It is a
win-win situation. Unfortunately, I don't know whether to by a rubber boat or
an igloo.
All I really know is that Ice once covered where I
stand today, and no Ford Explorer made it that way, or
for that matter made it go away. History has shown that there is a continuous
and ever-changing cycle of weather patterns independent of human activity
anyway. Ice Ages have come and gone long before we could do anything about
them.
Perhaps the biggest problem is that people think
they have the ability to control weather patterns at all. But what does it
matter to me anyway, I have an alien abduction to prepare for.
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